Chemo #1

Monday was the big day.

Alan and I were anxious that morning.  I ate a light breakfast of oatmeal a few hours in advance and numbed my port with the prescription cream for 45 minutes.  We then drove together and talked about our nerves and hopes for the upcoming experience.

The best part of the day was getting the drain removed.  What a great feeling to not have a tube coming out of me for the first time in months!  We then went to the infusion area.  There was only one other patient and the chairs are located in a nice sunny area.  I'm not going to lie, it felt a bit like going to the electric chair or maybe more accurately, going in for a lethal injection as I eased into the big recliner chair. 

Our nurse, Melinda started the first step by withdrawing blood from my port. She is very nice and the only nurse at this facility who administers the chemotherapy.  Her South Carolina accent is sweet and reassuring.  Melinda started the IV with three different types of anti-nausea medications.  They took about an hour to process.  The longest part of the experience.  At this point, we were ready for chemo and they started with Adrimyacin also known as 'The Red Devil'.  They had to manually insert this into the vein and so three large syringes with bright red medicine (It looked like red jello before it thickens) was slowly injected.  When that was finished, I took a bathroom break and the first side effect (red urine) was already there.  We then spent another 30 minutes getting the final drug through IV -Cytoxan.  I could smell the chemicals in my system - and that smell has stayed with me for several days. 

We were done for the day.  Alan had to go to work so I was put in the care of my friend, Frankie.  We ate a light lunch and settled down to watch a movie but the side effects soon came on with nausea and some fatigue.  I went to bed and started my oral anti-nausea medications.  When Brittany came home with Brianna from USU, they took over "Mama babysitting duty".  It was a long night for Alan who faithfully administered the anti-nausea pills throughout the night. He set up a schedule and set his alarm clock to ensure I didn't lapse. 

By morning, we had survived the worst of things.  Brittany took me back to the clinic and I received the Neulasta shot which is a very expensive medication used to boost my white blood cell count.  I was still nauseous and slept on and off with all the meds in my system.  The next morning, I felt like I had been hit by a truck.  Muscle aches in my neck and pelvis and the feeling of needing to urinate constantly.  Uncomfortable, it was a long third night.

Thanksgiving started better and I was able to sit with Alan and my sister while they made dinner at least for the most part.  I was tired and still sore but less so than the day before.  I was also able to stop the anti-nausea meds and eat more than the previous days.  It was nice to visit with family in a low key setting. 

Today, I'm tired but feeling good otherwise.  Alan and the girls bought the Christmas tree and decorated the house with me securely nestled on the couch.  I was able to clean out the dishwasher and visited with Alan's brother Gary and his cute family. My stamina and overall health seems to be slowly improving.  No nap today...which hopefully means a deep, restful sleep.

My goal with this blog is to continue being open and honest about my experience.  I hope it helps all my loved ones and friends to know what is going on without censure.  While I wish I was brave and full of constant grace - I know that will not be the case.    It was rough and there was a moment where I started to consider/calculate my survival odds if I only did a few treatments and not all eight.  It does helps to know the worst passes as time goes by.  Looking forward to this being a distant memory and hopefully we will be able to stand back and be proud of the fight we've waged - like so many before me and unfortunately, many more to come. 

I'm grateful for my friends and family.  Most especially - my wonderful husband Alan, who even refers to this experience as 'our chemo experience'.  Thank you for being by my side - in the good times and most especially the bad.  I love you.  My sweet kids who are taking such good care of their Mama...and my dear friends and extended family who do not let me walk this path alone.    I've never felt so 'buoyed up' and supported. 

Thank you.  The next hurtle will be losing my hair and then treatment #2 on December 6th.  I'll keep you posted.