Mentally and emotionally - this was the most challenging treatment so far.
It was hard to wrap my mind around going in and having the treatment again. Recognizing the work it takes to 'dig myself out' of the physical impact and to rebuild strength.
Alan went with me so that we could spend our Valentine's Day together and it was nice to spend the day with him. The night before, he brought me roses so that I could have something to look at this weekend. We celebrated our 25 year engagement anniversary on February 7th with a romantic dinner out. Unfortunately - I was not feeling very well but we still had a good time.
The treatment itself was non-eventful. Dr. Legant went over my numbers with us and I'm happy to report my liver enzymes are 'back to normal'. My glucose numbers are up but that likely has more to do with the chocolate kisses I ate the night before. Alan and I played Yahtzee and chatted. The treatment lasted from 0900 until about 2:30pm.
Recovery has been consistent with the other Taxol treatments. Friday - fatigue and nausea. Saturday - Monday - pain. Tues - Thurs - GI issues. We've gotten very good at managing the various drugs - knowing when to stop the anti-nausea pills and start the pain killers. Alan has his schedule and sets everything up for me. He even sets the alarm and wakes me up to 'stay ahead' of things. The neuropathy of my hands, feet and mouth continue and food/drink taste different - less appetizing but I'm still able to eat. :)
We set up our appointment with Dr. Gaffney - the Radiation Doctor for March 12th. We wanted to continue treatment and not take a break between chemotherapy and radiation. Basically - looking forward to getting this all behind us. Radiation will last for 6 weeks - and will take place every Monday - Friday. Reading the side effects - this should be much easier to manage through than the chemo.
The good news - we only have one more treatment left. One more time. I'm looking forward to having this milestone completed. It may well be the hardest thing I've ever done. The hardest thing we've ever done as a couple and a family. Almost there.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Chemo #6 - 3/4 Complete
We are almost there - 2 more treatments to go.
My Dad took me to this treatment and kept me very entertained. We must have played 20 hands of Gin Rummy and he won the vast majority. I'm starting to think playing games during treatment is a bad idea for my 'winning reputation'. We were there for about six hours total.
Dr. Legant met with us in the beginning and went over my numbers. My white blood cell count was very high (which is good) and my liver enzymes were also high (not so good). The good news with my white blood cell count being high, she was able to adjust my Neulasta shot and reduce the amount. We are thinking the pain I've been experiencing with the Taxol treatment is a combination of the new treatment with the Neulasta. I'll be honest - the pain is still pretty intense but the medication (Lortab) helps take the edge off. The liver enzymes - we will wait and watch. My guess is my diet is a 'wreck' and it may simply be reflecting that fact. I eat what I want...when I want and my body is likely putting my poor liver into shock after years of careful dieting.
Right now, we are 'keeping on, keeping on'. There is a rhythm to the madness that we can rely on....treatment every other Thursday with anti-nausea pills for 48 hours. We then switch over to Lortab and by Tuesday, things are settling down. My sleeping improves and I stop keeping Alan up all night long. By the end of the first week, I'm able to work from home more consistently taking calls and responding to email. I work on building strength and then by the second week can actually work about 6 hours from the office Monday - Wednesday. Then...we start again.
I am so excited to be down to the last two chemo treatments with February 14th and 28th marking the days. I know that by the time we celebrate St. Patrick's Day - I'll be feeling better and stronger for the final time. So - bring on the shamrocks!! This Irish Girl will be celebrating the holiday more than any year before.
My Dad took me to this treatment and kept me very entertained. We must have played 20 hands of Gin Rummy and he won the vast majority. I'm starting to think playing games during treatment is a bad idea for my 'winning reputation'. We were there for about six hours total.
Dr. Legant met with us in the beginning and went over my numbers. My white blood cell count was very high (which is good) and my liver enzymes were also high (not so good). The good news with my white blood cell count being high, she was able to adjust my Neulasta shot and reduce the amount. We are thinking the pain I've been experiencing with the Taxol treatment is a combination of the new treatment with the Neulasta. I'll be honest - the pain is still pretty intense but the medication (Lortab) helps take the edge off. The liver enzymes - we will wait and watch. My guess is my diet is a 'wreck' and it may simply be reflecting that fact. I eat what I want...when I want and my body is likely putting my poor liver into shock after years of careful dieting.
Right now, we are 'keeping on, keeping on'. There is a rhythm to the madness that we can rely on....treatment every other Thursday with anti-nausea pills for 48 hours. We then switch over to Lortab and by Tuesday, things are settling down. My sleeping improves and I stop keeping Alan up all night long. By the end of the first week, I'm able to work from home more consistently taking calls and responding to email. I work on building strength and then by the second week can actually work about 6 hours from the office Monday - Wednesday. Then...we start again.
I am so excited to be down to the last two chemo treatments with February 14th and 28th marking the days. I know that by the time we celebrate St. Patrick's Day - I'll be feeling better and stronger for the final time. So - bring on the shamrocks!! This Irish Girl will be celebrating the holiday more than any year before.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Chemo #5 - Taxol
We started treatment #5 with high hopes and some trepidation.
As crazy as it sounds - we knew what to expect from the A/C (Adrimyacin and Cytoxan) treatment and starting the T (Taxol) was like walking into the infusion center again on January 17th for the first time.
Alan took the day off as this treatment can have some serious allergic reactions while being administered and we decided it was best to have him there - just in case we had a medical emergency. The treatment started with anti-nausea medications and Benedryl. I didn't have any negative reactions but was blissfully 'loopy' or 'sleepy'. The appointment itself started at 0900 with lab work and a conversation with Dr. Legant. It was a long day with us leaving at 1600. Alan and I did have a 'Yahtzee' tournament - and he ended up being the champion with a 4 out of 5 victory. I blame the drugs. :)
Afterwards, we went home and I slept hard with all the medications in my systems but unlike A/C - I was not nauseated and didn't smell like I'd ingested 'pool chemicals'. The next two days - were good; some anemia and fatigue but no illness. I was able to walk around, work a little and was thinking this was the best treatment yet. But - then it hit on Saturday. Pain. My joints and muscles were extremely sore. My lower back felt like the early stages of labor and my typical Extra Strength Tylenol wasn't touching it to provide relief. I know it was hard for Alan and the kids to watch me be so uncomfortable. We applied heat and that helped...as well as some rubbing of the back and soaks in a warm tub. On Sunday, I called the oncologist on-call and was given permission to take Lortab. This helped take some of the edge off and allowed me to sleep. G.I. issues also started but we are well versed on how to manage through those.
Now - we rebuild and learn how to manage 'life' in between these new treatments. I am REALLY looking forward to moving on from Chemo and entering the Radiation stage. It is amazing to me how difficult this process is and I'll admit to being back in the 'angry stage' again. Angry for the changes to my life and the impact on my family that I can't control. Angry about all my loved ones, friends, co-workers who've had to endured this - especially those who lost the battle to this cruel disease. This stage will pass and cycle around again - and I'll be back to 'acceptance' or 'grief' tomorrow.
Looking forward to the day when the last person and their family battles cancer or at least has to endure the treatment for cancer.
Much love and thanks to my friends and family for the ongoing support. I'm amazed and humbled by the caring thoughts and the selfless acts of kindness. There is so much good in the world...it eclipses any bad and makes this experience worth it.
As crazy as it sounds - we knew what to expect from the A/C (Adrimyacin and Cytoxan) treatment and starting the T (Taxol) was like walking into the infusion center again on January 17th for the first time.
Alan took the day off as this treatment can have some serious allergic reactions while being administered and we decided it was best to have him there - just in case we had a medical emergency. The treatment started with anti-nausea medications and Benedryl. I didn't have any negative reactions but was blissfully 'loopy' or 'sleepy'. The appointment itself started at 0900 with lab work and a conversation with Dr. Legant. It was a long day with us leaving at 1600. Alan and I did have a 'Yahtzee' tournament - and he ended up being the champion with a 4 out of 5 victory. I blame the drugs. :)
Afterwards, we went home and I slept hard with all the medications in my systems but unlike A/C - I was not nauseated and didn't smell like I'd ingested 'pool chemicals'. The next two days - were good; some anemia and fatigue but no illness. I was able to walk around, work a little and was thinking this was the best treatment yet. But - then it hit on Saturday. Pain. My joints and muscles were extremely sore. My lower back felt like the early stages of labor and my typical Extra Strength Tylenol wasn't touching it to provide relief. I know it was hard for Alan and the kids to watch me be so uncomfortable. We applied heat and that helped...as well as some rubbing of the back and soaks in a warm tub. On Sunday, I called the oncologist on-call and was given permission to take Lortab. This helped take some of the edge off and allowed me to sleep. G.I. issues also started but we are well versed on how to manage through those.
Now - we rebuild and learn how to manage 'life' in between these new treatments. I am REALLY looking forward to moving on from Chemo and entering the Radiation stage. It is amazing to me how difficult this process is and I'll admit to being back in the 'angry stage' again. Angry for the changes to my life and the impact on my family that I can't control. Angry about all my loved ones, friends, co-workers who've had to endured this - especially those who lost the battle to this cruel disease. This stage will pass and cycle around again - and I'll be back to 'acceptance' or 'grief' tomorrow.
Looking forward to the day when the last person and their family battles cancer or at least has to endure the treatment for cancer.
Much love and thanks to my friends and family for the ongoing support. I'm amazed and humbled by the caring thoughts and the selfless acts of kindness. There is so much good in the world...it eclipses any bad and makes this experience worth it.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Chemo #4 - Halfway
Buh, Bye Adrimyacin!! Welcome Halfway Point!
The treatment itself was uneventful. We met with Dr. Lagant and she indicated my 'numbers' are good. We reviewed my side effects and all is pretty much as expected. They include hair loss, fatigue, breathlessness, neuropathy in hands/feet/mouth and gastrointestinal issues.
The breathlessness is probably one of the most disconcerting side effect. Prior to all the 'drama', I felt like I was in pretty good physical shape (for me); exercising regularly and eating healthy. I'll never be a marathon runner or Olympic athlete but I was doing pretty well. Now - I get winded walking into the next room and going up the stairs is the extent of my daily exercise after treatment. This is due to the normal anemia associated with chemotherapy. It is like suddenly being in the body of an 80 year old woman.
Alan went to this round with me and it was nice to have him there. So glad to see the last of the Red Devil being injected. Brittany did confess that the treatments 'stress her out' a bit, so we are going to try and protect her from that experience and have others attend those. I can understand watching your Mom go through cancer treatments would be a bit much for a 23 year old to try and process.
This weekend was quiet and spent it mostly in bed. Alan was very sweet and sat beside me frequently. I'm sure he was bored silly but he definitely brightens the room for me when he is there. I'm also mystified that he can still look at his 45 year old, bald wife with such love and affection. I'm a very lucky woman.
I've been able to work, mostly from home, and am enjoying getting back into the swing of things. It provides me with some welcome diversion and exercises my brain.
We've made the decision to have the second mastectomy. After discussing with my oncologist and plastic surgeon, we'll have to wait until after healing from radiation takes place for that surgery. So the road is long...but am grateful to be on the downhill side of chemo.
Wishing all my wonderful friends and loved ones a FANTASTIC new year.
The treatment itself was uneventful. We met with Dr. Lagant and she indicated my 'numbers' are good. We reviewed my side effects and all is pretty much as expected. They include hair loss, fatigue, breathlessness, neuropathy in hands/feet/mouth and gastrointestinal issues.
The breathlessness is probably one of the most disconcerting side effect. Prior to all the 'drama', I felt like I was in pretty good physical shape (for me); exercising regularly and eating healthy. I'll never be a marathon runner or Olympic athlete but I was doing pretty well. Now - I get winded walking into the next room and going up the stairs is the extent of my daily exercise after treatment. This is due to the normal anemia associated with chemotherapy. It is like suddenly being in the body of an 80 year old woman.
Alan went to this round with me and it was nice to have him there. So glad to see the last of the Red Devil being injected. Brittany did confess that the treatments 'stress her out' a bit, so we are going to try and protect her from that experience and have others attend those. I can understand watching your Mom go through cancer treatments would be a bit much for a 23 year old to try and process.
This weekend was quiet and spent it mostly in bed. Alan was very sweet and sat beside me frequently. I'm sure he was bored silly but he definitely brightens the room for me when he is there. I'm also mystified that he can still look at his 45 year old, bald wife with such love and affection. I'm a very lucky woman.
I've been able to work, mostly from home, and am enjoying getting back into the swing of things. It provides me with some welcome diversion and exercises my brain.
We've made the decision to have the second mastectomy. After discussing with my oncologist and plastic surgeon, we'll have to wait until after healing from radiation takes place for that surgery. So the road is long...but am grateful to be on the downhill side of chemo.
Wishing all my wonderful friends and loved ones a FANTASTIC new year.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Chemo #3 - The Holidays
The holidays were lovely and surrounded by family.
Prior to treatment, I was feeling strong and had a great deal of stamina. I was able to work from home and was grateful for the distraction it provided.
I had treatment #3 on Thursday, December 20th. We brought gifts of chocolate for Robin (front desk), Dr. Lagant and Melinda.The office was pretty quiet for the holidays with only one other patient in the transfusion center. Brittany and I packed a 'light lunch' and enjoyed the 2-3 hours playing games and chatting.
The nausea was better managed this time. Brittany kept track of the four different medications that day and transferred responsibility to Alan that night. 48 hours of constant medication and sleeping made for the best immediate experience thus far. Unfortunately, this transitioned into a challenging time with some intense stomach issues and fatigue. Christmas Eve was the peak of the worst of the symptoms. Luckily, Alan and the kids were in amazing form. They had the presents bought, wrapped and everything ready for the holiday. I was snuggled on the couch where we watched several Christmas movies including, A Christmas Story, Elf and A Christmas Carol.
In the morning, Alan put Christmas under the tree. We woke the kids up around 8am and enjoyed our morning. Christmas was a 'scaled down' version of itself but the kids were so great. Although there weren't a lot of surprises (as they helped buy most if not all) or even gifts - they acted like it was the best Christmas ever. I was so impressed and humbled by the experience. The true joy of Christmas, being together with loved ones/family was never so clear to me. Afterwards, Brittany, Alex, Alan and Papa went out and shoveled the driveway/walks - hitting several neighbors along the way. Brianna stayed inside and cleaned up for the afternoon family party. Grammie was in charge of dinner and organized it. I spent this time resting and getting showered/dressed. A bit of an effort but so much better than the day before!!
That afternoon, my siblings all came over and it was so fun to watch everyone open their gifts; especially my little nieces and nephew! I was so grateful that they were able to come over and had recovered from some earlier illnesses that week. There is nothing like the joy little ones have when opening their gifts. That night, after everyone left, the kids played Scrabble with us and then tucked us into bed early; a big but happy day.
While I would not have chosen this journey - it has provided me with some additional insights and perspective. As a woman who feels she is solely responsible for running both her professional and personal 'worlds', I have learned that things run without me. In someways, they run better and those around me 'gain' from the opportunity to be in charge. Who knew? Humbling and wonderful all at the same time.
Now it is time for recovery and building back my strength for treatment #4 on January 3rd- the official halfway point and end of Adrimyacin!! I'm holding out hope that the following four treatments of Taxol will be milder and easier to manage through. I so badly want to be one of those people who go through chemo and barely miss a step but that is obviously not the experience I was destined for, at least for now.
It is my sincere hope that your holidays were also surrounded by love, family and happiness.
Prior to treatment, I was feeling strong and had a great deal of stamina. I was able to work from home and was grateful for the distraction it provided.
I had treatment #3 on Thursday, December 20th. We brought gifts of chocolate for Robin (front desk), Dr. Lagant and Melinda.The office was pretty quiet for the holidays with only one other patient in the transfusion center. Brittany and I packed a 'light lunch' and enjoyed the 2-3 hours playing games and chatting.
The nausea was better managed this time. Brittany kept track of the four different medications that day and transferred responsibility to Alan that night. 48 hours of constant medication and sleeping made for the best immediate experience thus far. Unfortunately, this transitioned into a challenging time with some intense stomach issues and fatigue. Christmas Eve was the peak of the worst of the symptoms. Luckily, Alan and the kids were in amazing form. They had the presents bought, wrapped and everything ready for the holiday. I was snuggled on the couch where we watched several Christmas movies including, A Christmas Story, Elf and A Christmas Carol.
In the morning, Alan put Christmas under the tree. We woke the kids up around 8am and enjoyed our morning. Christmas was a 'scaled down' version of itself but the kids were so great. Although there weren't a lot of surprises (as they helped buy most if not all) or even gifts - they acted like it was the best Christmas ever. I was so impressed and humbled by the experience. The true joy of Christmas, being together with loved ones/family was never so clear to me. Afterwards, Brittany, Alex, Alan and Papa went out and shoveled the driveway/walks - hitting several neighbors along the way. Brianna stayed inside and cleaned up for the afternoon family party. Grammie was in charge of dinner and organized it. I spent this time resting and getting showered/dressed. A bit of an effort but so much better than the day before!!
That afternoon, my siblings all came over and it was so fun to watch everyone open their gifts; especially my little nieces and nephew! I was so grateful that they were able to come over and had recovered from some earlier illnesses that week. There is nothing like the joy little ones have when opening their gifts. That night, after everyone left, the kids played Scrabble with us and then tucked us into bed early; a big but happy day.
While I would not have chosen this journey - it has provided me with some additional insights and perspective. As a woman who feels she is solely responsible for running both her professional and personal 'worlds', I have learned that things run without me. In someways, they run better and those around me 'gain' from the opportunity to be in charge. Who knew? Humbling and wonderful all at the same time.
Now it is time for recovery and building back my strength for treatment #4 on January 3rd- the official halfway point and end of Adrimyacin!! I'm holding out hope that the following four treatments of Taxol will be milder and easier to manage through. I so badly want to be one of those people who go through chemo and barely miss a step but that is obviously not the experience I was destined for, at least for now.
It is my sincere hope that your holidays were also surrounded by love, family and happiness.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Chemo #2
We continue to climb upwards on this crazy journey.
After the first treatment, we had a couple extra experiences. I decided I was going to be independent and took myself to my expansion with the nurses at the breast clinic, not realizing that I had something called a 'seroma' in my pseudo breast. We had been warned that taking the drain out with higher outputs could have this result but I was surprised that I had no idea it was even there.
The doctor was in surgery and unable to examine me and the nurses were unable to do the necessary procedure, so Alan took me the next morning to Huntsman. Dr. Agarwal determined the area needed to be drained. For the life of me, I'll never get use to the fact that any size of needle inserted into this area can't be felt! They drained about 60 ccs of liquid and said it didn't look infected so not to worry. I was also on antibiotics for a urinary tract infection, so they ended up doing double duty. They expanded me 90 ccs and we went home for the day.
My strength continued to improve each day and the side effects lessened as well. The family has been very protective and ensure that I'm escorted almost everywhere. To increase my strength, there have been short walks with us increasing the distance every time.
Last Saturday, I woke up in the morning to my hair falling out in large bits. We called my cute hairdresser Kelly and she had Alan and I come in to her salon that night at closing. I went first and it was shocking to go from long hair to a GI Jane hairdo but the sting was lessened when Alan followed me and cut all his hair off too. It helps being bald when the person sitting next to you in bed is bald with you.
This Saturday, the GI Jane haircut started to fall out as well and the inevitable next step - complete baldness was at hand. We were given some expert advice that taking duct tape - yes, duct tape - and applying it to the scalp would remove the hair instead of having it slowly shed. It worked for the most part but I do have strands of hair here and there that are stubbornly hanging on. The look is a little like 'Gollum' from the Hobbit but I'm sure the rest will come out shortly.
The second treatment was this Thursday. It took a little longer than last time for the chemotherapy meds to be made and we were there for about 3 hours. This time around, I had some stronger anti-nausea medications which helped me sleep through the worst of the first 48 hours of nausea. I'm tired and have some 'stomach issues' but otherwise doing well. I can tell I'm on the upswing again and will need to slowly rebuild strength for the next treatment on December 20th. On January 3rd - the fourth treatment will mark the halfway point of the 'hard chemo' and the end of the Adrimyacin/Cytoxan regiment. I'm hopeful that the next phase will have kinder side effects.
I'm doing well and learning a great deal from this experience. I love my family and friends who continue to support me. The relationships truly are the only things that matter.
After the first treatment, we had a couple extra experiences. I decided I was going to be independent and took myself to my expansion with the nurses at the breast clinic, not realizing that I had something called a 'seroma' in my pseudo breast. We had been warned that taking the drain out with higher outputs could have this result but I was surprised that I had no idea it was even there.
The doctor was in surgery and unable to examine me and the nurses were unable to do the necessary procedure, so Alan took me the next morning to Huntsman. Dr. Agarwal determined the area needed to be drained. For the life of me, I'll never get use to the fact that any size of needle inserted into this area can't be felt! They drained about 60 ccs of liquid and said it didn't look infected so not to worry. I was also on antibiotics for a urinary tract infection, so they ended up doing double duty. They expanded me 90 ccs and we went home for the day.
My strength continued to improve each day and the side effects lessened as well. The family has been very protective and ensure that I'm escorted almost everywhere. To increase my strength, there have been short walks with us increasing the distance every time.
Last Saturday, I woke up in the morning to my hair falling out in large bits. We called my cute hairdresser Kelly and she had Alan and I come in to her salon that night at closing. I went first and it was shocking to go from long hair to a GI Jane hairdo but the sting was lessened when Alan followed me and cut all his hair off too. It helps being bald when the person sitting next to you in bed is bald with you.
This Saturday, the GI Jane haircut started to fall out as well and the inevitable next step - complete baldness was at hand. We were given some expert advice that taking duct tape - yes, duct tape - and applying it to the scalp would remove the hair instead of having it slowly shed. It worked for the most part but I do have strands of hair here and there that are stubbornly hanging on. The look is a little like 'Gollum' from the Hobbit but I'm sure the rest will come out shortly.
The second treatment was this Thursday. It took a little longer than last time for the chemotherapy meds to be made and we were there for about 3 hours. This time around, I had some stronger anti-nausea medications which helped me sleep through the worst of the first 48 hours of nausea. I'm tired and have some 'stomach issues' but otherwise doing well. I can tell I'm on the upswing again and will need to slowly rebuild strength for the next treatment on December 20th. On January 3rd - the fourth treatment will mark the halfway point of the 'hard chemo' and the end of the Adrimyacin/Cytoxan regiment. I'm hopeful that the next phase will have kinder side effects.
I'm doing well and learning a great deal from this experience. I love my family and friends who continue to support me. The relationships truly are the only things that matter.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Chemo #1
Monday was the big day.
Alan and I were anxious that morning. I ate a light breakfast of oatmeal a few hours in advance and numbed my port with the prescription cream for 45 minutes. We then drove together and talked about our nerves and hopes for the upcoming experience.
The best part of the day was getting the drain removed. What a great feeling to not have a tube coming out of me for the first time in months! We then went to the infusion area. There was only one other patient and the chairs are located in a nice sunny area. I'm not going to lie, it felt a bit like going to the electric chair or maybe more accurately, going in for a lethal injection as I eased into the big recliner chair.
Our nurse, Melinda started the first step by withdrawing blood from my port. She is very nice and the only nurse at this facility who administers the chemotherapy. Her South Carolina accent is sweet and reassuring. Melinda started the IV with three different types of anti-nausea medications. They took about an hour to process. The longest part of the experience. At this point, we were ready for chemo and they started with Adrimyacin also known as 'The Red Devil'. They had to manually insert this into the vein and so three large syringes with bright red medicine (It looked like red jello before it thickens) was slowly injected. When that was finished, I took a bathroom break and the first side effect (red urine) was already there. We then spent another 30 minutes getting the final drug through IV -Cytoxan. I could smell the chemicals in my system - and that smell has stayed with me for several days.
We were done for the day. Alan had to go to work so I was put in the care of my friend, Frankie. We ate a light lunch and settled down to watch a movie but the side effects soon came on with nausea and some fatigue. I went to bed and started my oral anti-nausea medications. When Brittany came home with Brianna from USU, they took over "Mama babysitting duty". It was a long night for Alan who faithfully administered the anti-nausea pills throughout the night. He set up a schedule and set his alarm clock to ensure I didn't lapse.
By morning, we had survived the worst of things. Brittany took me back to the clinic and I received the Neulasta shot which is a very expensive medication used to boost my white blood cell count. I was still nauseous and slept on and off with all the meds in my system. The next morning, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. Muscle aches in my neck and pelvis and the feeling of needing to urinate constantly. Uncomfortable, it was a long third night.
Thanksgiving started better and I was able to sit with Alan and my sister while they made dinner at least for the most part. I was tired and still sore but less so than the day before. I was also able to stop the anti-nausea meds and eat more than the previous days. It was nice to visit with family in a low key setting.
Today, I'm tired but feeling good otherwise. Alan and the girls bought the Christmas tree and decorated the house with me securely nestled on the couch. I was able to clean out the dishwasher and visited with Alan's brother Gary and his cute family. My stamina and overall health seems to be slowly improving. No nap today...which hopefully means a deep, restful sleep.
My goal with this blog is to continue being open and honest about my experience. I hope it helps all my loved ones and friends to know what is going on without censure. While I wish I was brave and full of constant grace - I know that will not be the case. It was rough and there was a moment where I started to consider/calculate my survival odds if I only did a few treatments and not all eight. It does helps to know the worst passes as time goes by. Looking forward to this being a distant memory and hopefully we will be able to stand back and be proud of the fight we've waged - like so many before me and unfortunately, many more to come.
I'm grateful for my friends and family. Most especially - my wonderful husband Alan, who even refers to this experience as 'our chemo experience'. Thank you for being by my side - in the good times and most especially the bad. I love you. My sweet kids who are taking such good care of their Mama...and my dear friends and extended family who do not let me walk this path alone. I've never felt so 'buoyed up' and supported.
Thank you. The next hurtle will be losing my hair and then treatment #2 on December 6th. I'll keep you posted.
Alan and I were anxious that morning. I ate a light breakfast of oatmeal a few hours in advance and numbed my port with the prescription cream for 45 minutes. We then drove together and talked about our nerves and hopes for the upcoming experience.
The best part of the day was getting the drain removed. What a great feeling to not have a tube coming out of me for the first time in months! We then went to the infusion area. There was only one other patient and the chairs are located in a nice sunny area. I'm not going to lie, it felt a bit like going to the electric chair or maybe more accurately, going in for a lethal injection as I eased into the big recliner chair.
Our nurse, Melinda started the first step by withdrawing blood from my port. She is very nice and the only nurse at this facility who administers the chemotherapy. Her South Carolina accent is sweet and reassuring. Melinda started the IV with three different types of anti-nausea medications. They took about an hour to process. The longest part of the experience. At this point, we were ready for chemo and they started with Adrimyacin also known as 'The Red Devil'. They had to manually insert this into the vein and so three large syringes with bright red medicine (It looked like red jello before it thickens) was slowly injected. When that was finished, I took a bathroom break and the first side effect (red urine) was already there. We then spent another 30 minutes getting the final drug through IV -Cytoxan. I could smell the chemicals in my system - and that smell has stayed with me for several days.
We were done for the day. Alan had to go to work so I was put in the care of my friend, Frankie. We ate a light lunch and settled down to watch a movie but the side effects soon came on with nausea and some fatigue. I went to bed and started my oral anti-nausea medications. When Brittany came home with Brianna from USU, they took over "Mama babysitting duty". It was a long night for Alan who faithfully administered the anti-nausea pills throughout the night. He set up a schedule and set his alarm clock to ensure I didn't lapse.
By morning, we had survived the worst of things. Brittany took me back to the clinic and I received the Neulasta shot which is a very expensive medication used to boost my white blood cell count. I was still nauseous and slept on and off with all the meds in my system. The next morning, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. Muscle aches in my neck and pelvis and the feeling of needing to urinate constantly. Uncomfortable, it was a long third night.
Thanksgiving started better and I was able to sit with Alan and my sister while they made dinner at least for the most part. I was tired and still sore but less so than the day before. I was also able to stop the anti-nausea meds and eat more than the previous days. It was nice to visit with family in a low key setting.
Today, I'm tired but feeling good otherwise. Alan and the girls bought the Christmas tree and decorated the house with me securely nestled on the couch. I was able to clean out the dishwasher and visited with Alan's brother Gary and his cute family. My stamina and overall health seems to be slowly improving. No nap today...which hopefully means a deep, restful sleep.
My goal with this blog is to continue being open and honest about my experience. I hope it helps all my loved ones and friends to know what is going on without censure. While I wish I was brave and full of constant grace - I know that will not be the case. It was rough and there was a moment where I started to consider/calculate my survival odds if I only did a few treatments and not all eight. It does helps to know the worst passes as time goes by. Looking forward to this being a distant memory and hopefully we will be able to stand back and be proud of the fight we've waged - like so many before me and unfortunately, many more to come.
I'm grateful for my friends and family. Most especially - my wonderful husband Alan, who even refers to this experience as 'our chemo experience'. Thank you for being by my side - in the good times and most especially the bad. I love you. My sweet kids who are taking such good care of their Mama...and my dear friends and extended family who do not let me walk this path alone. I've never felt so 'buoyed up' and supported.
Thank you. The next hurtle will be losing my hair and then treatment #2 on December 6th. I'll keep you posted.
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