The holidays were lovely and surrounded by family.
Prior to treatment, I was feeling strong and had a great deal of stamina. I was able to work from home and was grateful for the distraction it provided.
I had treatment #3 on Thursday, December 20th. We brought gifts of chocolate for Robin (front desk), Dr. Lagant and Melinda.The office was pretty quiet for the holidays with only one other patient in the transfusion center. Brittany and I packed a 'light lunch' and enjoyed the 2-3 hours playing games and chatting.
The nausea was better managed this time. Brittany kept track of the four different medications that day and transferred responsibility to Alan that night. 48 hours of constant medication and sleeping made for the best immediate experience thus far. Unfortunately, this transitioned into a challenging time with some intense stomach issues and fatigue. Christmas Eve was the peak of the worst of the symptoms. Luckily, Alan and the kids were in amazing form. They had the presents bought, wrapped and everything ready for the holiday. I was snuggled on the couch where we watched several Christmas movies including, A Christmas Story, Elf and A Christmas Carol.
In the morning, Alan put Christmas under the tree. We woke the kids up around 8am and enjoyed our morning. Christmas was a 'scaled down' version of itself but the kids were so great. Although there weren't a lot of surprises (as they helped buy most if not all) or even gifts - they acted like it was the best Christmas ever. I was so impressed and humbled by the experience. The true joy of Christmas, being together with loved ones/family was never so clear to me. Afterwards, Brittany, Alex, Alan and Papa went out and shoveled the driveway/walks - hitting several neighbors along the way. Brianna stayed inside and cleaned up for the afternoon family party. Grammie was in charge of dinner and organized it. I spent this time resting and getting showered/dressed. A bit of an effort but so much better than the day before!!
That afternoon, my siblings all came over and it was so fun to watch everyone open their gifts; especially my little nieces and nephew! I was so grateful that they were able to come over and had recovered from some earlier illnesses that week. There is nothing like the joy little ones have when opening their gifts. That night, after everyone left, the kids played Scrabble with us and then tucked us into bed early; a big but happy day.
While I would not have chosen this journey - it has provided me with some additional insights and perspective. As a woman who feels she is solely responsible for running both her professional and personal 'worlds', I have learned that things run without me. In someways, they run better and those around me 'gain' from the opportunity to be in charge. Who knew? Humbling and wonderful all at the same time.
Now it is time for recovery and building back my strength for treatment #4 on January 3rd- the official halfway point and end of Adrimyacin!! I'm holding out hope that the following four treatments of Taxol will be milder and easier to manage through. I so badly want to be one of those people who go through chemo and barely miss a step but that is obviously not the experience I was destined for, at least for now.
It is my sincere hope that your holidays were also surrounded by love, family and happiness.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
Chemo #2
We continue to climb upwards on this crazy journey.
After the first treatment, we had a couple extra experiences. I decided I was going to be independent and took myself to my expansion with the nurses at the breast clinic, not realizing that I had something called a 'seroma' in my pseudo breast. We had been warned that taking the drain out with higher outputs could have this result but I was surprised that I had no idea it was even there.
The doctor was in surgery and unable to examine me and the nurses were unable to do the necessary procedure, so Alan took me the next morning to Huntsman. Dr. Agarwal determined the area needed to be drained. For the life of me, I'll never get use to the fact that any size of needle inserted into this area can't be felt! They drained about 60 ccs of liquid and said it didn't look infected so not to worry. I was also on antibiotics for a urinary tract infection, so they ended up doing double duty. They expanded me 90 ccs and we went home for the day.
My strength continued to improve each day and the side effects lessened as well. The family has been very protective and ensure that I'm escorted almost everywhere. To increase my strength, there have been short walks with us increasing the distance every time.
Last Saturday, I woke up in the morning to my hair falling out in large bits. We called my cute hairdresser Kelly and she had Alan and I come in to her salon that night at closing. I went first and it was shocking to go from long hair to a GI Jane hairdo but the sting was lessened when Alan followed me and cut all his hair off too. It helps being bald when the person sitting next to you in bed is bald with you.
This Saturday, the GI Jane haircut started to fall out as well and the inevitable next step - complete baldness was at hand. We were given some expert advice that taking duct tape - yes, duct tape - and applying it to the scalp would remove the hair instead of having it slowly shed. It worked for the most part but I do have strands of hair here and there that are stubbornly hanging on. The look is a little like 'Gollum' from the Hobbit but I'm sure the rest will come out shortly.
The second treatment was this Thursday. It took a little longer than last time for the chemotherapy meds to be made and we were there for about 3 hours. This time around, I had some stronger anti-nausea medications which helped me sleep through the worst of the first 48 hours of nausea. I'm tired and have some 'stomach issues' but otherwise doing well. I can tell I'm on the upswing again and will need to slowly rebuild strength for the next treatment on December 20th. On January 3rd - the fourth treatment will mark the halfway point of the 'hard chemo' and the end of the Adrimyacin/Cytoxan regiment. I'm hopeful that the next phase will have kinder side effects.
I'm doing well and learning a great deal from this experience. I love my family and friends who continue to support me. The relationships truly are the only things that matter.
After the first treatment, we had a couple extra experiences. I decided I was going to be independent and took myself to my expansion with the nurses at the breast clinic, not realizing that I had something called a 'seroma' in my pseudo breast. We had been warned that taking the drain out with higher outputs could have this result but I was surprised that I had no idea it was even there.
The doctor was in surgery and unable to examine me and the nurses were unable to do the necessary procedure, so Alan took me the next morning to Huntsman. Dr. Agarwal determined the area needed to be drained. For the life of me, I'll never get use to the fact that any size of needle inserted into this area can't be felt! They drained about 60 ccs of liquid and said it didn't look infected so not to worry. I was also on antibiotics for a urinary tract infection, so they ended up doing double duty. They expanded me 90 ccs and we went home for the day.
My strength continued to improve each day and the side effects lessened as well. The family has been very protective and ensure that I'm escorted almost everywhere. To increase my strength, there have been short walks with us increasing the distance every time.
Last Saturday, I woke up in the morning to my hair falling out in large bits. We called my cute hairdresser Kelly and she had Alan and I come in to her salon that night at closing. I went first and it was shocking to go from long hair to a GI Jane hairdo but the sting was lessened when Alan followed me and cut all his hair off too. It helps being bald when the person sitting next to you in bed is bald with you.
This Saturday, the GI Jane haircut started to fall out as well and the inevitable next step - complete baldness was at hand. We were given some expert advice that taking duct tape - yes, duct tape - and applying it to the scalp would remove the hair instead of having it slowly shed. It worked for the most part but I do have strands of hair here and there that are stubbornly hanging on. The look is a little like 'Gollum' from the Hobbit but I'm sure the rest will come out shortly.
The second treatment was this Thursday. It took a little longer than last time for the chemotherapy meds to be made and we were there for about 3 hours. This time around, I had some stronger anti-nausea medications which helped me sleep through the worst of the first 48 hours of nausea. I'm tired and have some 'stomach issues' but otherwise doing well. I can tell I'm on the upswing again and will need to slowly rebuild strength for the next treatment on December 20th. On January 3rd - the fourth treatment will mark the halfway point of the 'hard chemo' and the end of the Adrimyacin/Cytoxan regiment. I'm hopeful that the next phase will have kinder side effects.
I'm doing well and learning a great deal from this experience. I love my family and friends who continue to support me. The relationships truly are the only things that matter.
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